making it happen
This weekend kicked my ass in 12 different ways, which is funny because I was technically on vacation. The Clan had rented a house in honor of Kat's entry into her 33rd year and visions of a weekend of chasing Miss Baby, drinking Kraken, eating delicious food, and watching Vin juggle and Andan and Bates hit each other with sticks danced in our heads.
Then the mother of one of my best friends died, not entirely unexpectedly, and I realized that although I'd been mentally and emotionally preparing for the event I hadn't considered that I might need to attend a memorial service this weekend. I had nothing to wear. I had no transportation of my own. And I was triggered 35 times over with Dead Dad issues and What Does Family Mean to Me and the usual assortment of I Hate Crying In Front of Other People and everyone's favorite, I Don't Like to Ask for Help. That last bit didn't hold up for long because I didn't know where to go in Santa Cruz to find funeral-appropriate clothes, or how to order a flower piece to send for the service, or how the hell I was going to get there in the first place. So the Clan stepped in. They cooked for me and they hugged me and they left me alone and watched cartoons with me and napped with me and shoved me into the hottub when the little pulsing vein in my forehead started to show. Meg took me shopping for funeral clothes and approved my outfit and even went so far as to whittle extra holes in the belt I neglected to try-on before purchasing. Andan taught me the finer points of knifefighting by way of distraction and lent me his car so I could get to the service. Kat kept me supplied with delicious food, snuggles and cartoons. Vin gave me my first staff lesson and refused to let me get away with half-hearted hugging. Kristi was on the receiving end of my sarcasm as is her wont, but it was especially off-kilter/miscalibrated given my emotional state; she navigated this gracefully. Bates and Charlie embarked upon an effort to snuggle me mercilessly and, at times, against my will, and were kind enough to get me to Andan's car so I could get to the service.
I have no idea what I've done to deserve any of these people in my life.
I am so very grateful.
I am also so very tired and sad.
Then the mother of one of my best friends died, not entirely unexpectedly, and I realized that although I'd been mentally and emotionally preparing for the event I hadn't considered that I might need to attend a memorial service this weekend. I had nothing to wear. I had no transportation of my own. And I was triggered 35 times over with Dead Dad issues and What Does Family Mean to Me and the usual assortment of I Hate Crying In Front of Other People and everyone's favorite, I Don't Like to Ask for Help. That last bit didn't hold up for long because I didn't know where to go in Santa Cruz to find funeral-appropriate clothes, or how to order a flower piece to send for the service, or how the hell I was going to get there in the first place. So the Clan stepped in. They cooked for me and they hugged me and they left me alone and watched cartoons with me and napped with me and shoved me into the hottub when the little pulsing vein in my forehead started to show. Meg took me shopping for funeral clothes and approved my outfit and even went so far as to whittle extra holes in the belt I neglected to try-on before purchasing. Andan taught me the finer points of knifefighting by way of distraction and lent me his car so I could get to the service. Kat kept me supplied with delicious food, snuggles and cartoons. Vin gave me my first staff lesson and refused to let me get away with half-hearted hugging. Kristi was on the receiving end of my sarcasm as is her wont, but it was especially off-kilter/miscalibrated given my emotional state; she navigated this gracefully. Bates and Charlie embarked upon an effort to snuggle me mercilessly and, at times, against my will, and were kind enough to get me to Andan's car so I could get to the service.
I have no idea what I've done to deserve any of these people in my life.
I am so very grateful.
I am also so very tired and sad.
posted by Dani at 10:03 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home